Tuesday, June 3, 2014

This I believe

I am not a writer. English with its many rules, and itsridiculous ability to break them, is, frankly, a mystery to me.You know what I do like? Math. Math has rules, but you don’t get to break them. Math makes sense. There is no “I believe this,” “well, I believe that, and both people being right. 1+1=2.1+1≠3, or 4, or 5. It’s 2. One belief exists which everyone holds: belief in the answer. This is why I do not hold many beliefs, and I won’t use the word again in my essay. However, the world isnot like math. It’s English. There isn’t a right answer, or wrong one, or even an answer at all. But with that in mind, I still know this: that while I don’t understand it, the world has a force more powerful than any other. Love.
Now when I say love, I don’t mean the physical attraction between two people or the magical fairytale love of stories from our childhood. I mean the real, deep-set connection between one person and the rest of the human race. There is one group of people in my life that have consistently portrayed this feeling more than any other: children. Caleb, my five year old brother told me the other day, “Love is good.” Now this at first seems simple, and it in fact actually is simple. But it’s not easy. Love isn’t easy. I wish it was because then everyone would do it. Love is hard, because when we get right down to it love does some hard things. It endures, forgives, and hopesHard things in a difficult world. And it disregards the easy: it isn’t proud, doesn’t force its own way, and doesn’t always get what it wants.
Love is powerful because it leads to people doing things that do not benefit them, but everyone else. It tells us that if we truly love someone as Olaf from Frozen says, “it’s putting other’s needs before your own”. In our lives, loving others leads to very powerful changes. It leads to people going into dangerous situations where they don’t have to be and no one would fault them for not, but doing it anyway because it is good for someone else. Whether it’s heading into a hurricane to help others or simply helping someone carrying a heavy load, doing good things for others with no expectation of a reward is the definition of love. While doing a small thing may not seem to really impact the world, and it may not this follows the rules just like the environment. Taking one tree from a stream doesn’t change the forest at all, but if every person did this the forest would die out entirely.
So, why wait? Spreading love has good impact on the world as a whole and even will come back to you. The world isn’t a perfect place and it never will be, but that doesn’t mean that sharing love isn’t worth it. I know that love throughout the world will lead to change. I want to be the change I want to see which is why I believe in love.

Cover

Carson Dooley 5/29/14

Future and bigger picture ( I accidentally did both)

My life- In my lifetime I want to do some big things. I want to graduate from high school, graduate from college, find a more permanent job, get married, have children, and watch them grow into successful adults, hopefully with me as a role model. In my life, my father was never around as much as I wanted him to be, so I want to make sure my kids know I am there for them 24/7. I want more than anything to simply be happy in the good moments and never lose heart in the bad. Life is hard sometimes, but I want to show everyone that it will get better.
The US- I want to see some changes in the way congress and the president function. I want more freedoms given to the citizens including abortion rights, gay marriage, and more open freedom of speech in schools. Today congress sits in gridlock and bureaucracy which leads to very little happening but almost no one doing anything to affect whether those people return to congress. We need to change the fundamental beliefs of the American people about voting. We need to show than that it is not simply a privilege but a duty of every citizen to help keep the country moving.
The world- I want to see happiness and prosperity throughout the world, not just in countries where the amount of money we have is high currently but also in places where there is not as much to go around today. I hope to see freedom spread across the world. I hope to see the slaves in America and abroad free and happy instead of caged as they are now. I want to see joy on the faces of every people, not just the White Anglo-Saxon Protestants.
Professor from Lexington Finally Bags Big Problem.
What solving this problem means for you
Lexington, KY- When Carson Dooley, professor of mathematics at UK set out to solve the P vs. nP problem 5 years ago, he simply began by writing. He opens his proof of over 300 pages with a simple quote from a favorite childhood writer: "To see me you would need a hole in the middle." This quote from Flatland, a fictional book about a square who travels into other dimensions and records his travels, indicates to the reader of the proof the stance which Prof. Dooley has taken and now proven: that there are some things that even man cannot know. The problem itself is simply a question of whether or not every process can have an algorithm written to solve it. The answer is we cannot. This will impact your life in several ways:
We now know there is no better way to solve trial and error problems with light switches: so don't worry, you are being as efficient as possible.
Computers will run more efficiently as they are now not having some amount of processing power used to try to solve this problem all the time. 
The world now knows that we aren't capable of anything, which is good because if we don't have limits we will never find more ingenuity than when we reach those limits and try to move beyond them. 

Thank yous

My family- you have stood by me through thick and thin, loved me always, and even been good to me when I haven't been to you. I love you all so much and I wish I could tell you how thankful I am for having you. I may not have had the most average life experience, but I do know that you all have made my life fun, interesting, and overall enjoyable.
Paula and Olivia- you have supported me through everything. For every person- in my family being there for me for a moment, you have been there two. You make my life fun and make school, even when it feels like the world is caving in, a place where I can find comfort from my friends. Thank you both.
My other friends- you all are all amazing. You are kind, loving, and deal with me. Thank you. Sarah, you are hilariously opposite of me and it's why we work. Thank you for being the sanity to my crazy. Anna, thank you for being sweet, I don't feel like I tell you that enough. It's always appreciated.
Rachel- I can't write it all down because if I do I will never stop writing. You... Just believe me I can't say enough to tell you how amazing of a person you have made me feel and how much better of a person I have become by knowing you. So let me just say this: I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always.

Final thoughts

I think that movies can tell us a lot about life so I'm just going to quote some as I head out. Some have significance to me and some I think of just because I have sporcle on my mind.
"Life is like a box of chocolates."
"Space, the final frontier"
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."
"Open the pod bay doors, HAL."
"Soilent green is people!"
"What we've got here is a failure to communicate"
"Are you talkin to me?"
"Look at the big brain on Brian"
"of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine."
"I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship"

Travel log

In my reading, one of the most interesting authors I have read is Jonathan Tropper. In my favorite book of his This Is Where I Leave You, Tropper looks at the topics of tragedy and death and how they bring families together. In the book, one of the main character's biggest questions is: "why is it that families don't come to someone they love until they are already dead and come to the funeral?". In the work he never decides the answer to this question but through the character's actions demonstrates that he believes we as people should attempt to remain connected to those close to us before they are gone.
In the future I don't know whose books I will read but I hope they are interesting and broaden my horizons in the way books always have. When I read books are escapes from reality. They take me places I could never go in regular life, and lead me to experience new things. I hope to read books like The Kite Runner and others and hope they are influential to my beliefs.

Inventory

1. Oldest. This was both good and bad because on one hand I get to do things that everyone else didn't. On the other hand, I also had to do a lot more chores than everyone else and had to watch as each sibling got to do less and less while I had to continue to do my chores.
2. My parents don't really have any most important rules because of my split family but of course getting good grades was important and I didn't always do that.
3. I love thanksgiving. We eat a huge dinner every year with over twenty people. It is always wonderful.
4. This project. I am so hoping to graduate from high school and if this is the straw that breaks the camels back I will hate it.
5. I don't really know.
6. Hang out at someone's house or dinner and a movie.
7. Rachel's prom. I got to hang out with a lot of awesome people and do some fun things.
8. Seeing my best friends all the time.
9. Probably the useless work.
10. Very very fun but sometimes, like now, stressful.

Song Analysis

Bride and Groom

This city is haunted by the ghost of failure
I am one and you are one
We've spent this whole time on the run
From a lie that I told
That you closed your eyes and you chose to believe

So now you ask me for honesty
Just to take a second, breathe
I'm not good enough for you
You were never good enough to me
No one's ever good enough to be
Or have something so naïve

When I broke my hand on your car
When you told me you were leavin'
And I begged for your forgiveness
My broken fingers bleedin'
My heavy heart repeatin', afraid,
Just stay here with me

Then you took your clothes off instead
And you danced around my room
Don't worry, you said,
'Cause the end is coming soon
And we'll meet again someday
And we'll toast these stunning ruins
For the bride I'll never be
And the groom

Now I picture you like snowflakes
Like desperate pouring rain
Like the beating of the drum
In the parade of the insane
You are the whisper in my ear
When I wake and no one's here
There's just the echo of your name

So now you ask me for honesty
I close my eyes, breathe,
I'm the one who always is
So ready to leave
To be a distant memory
To be a ship disappearing in the sea

And I crashed upon your rocks
When I heard your voice singing
And I begged for your love
With my busted ears ringing
My hopeful heart repeating
You are more than the promise of the sea

Then you took your clothes off instead
And you danced around my room
Don't worry, you said,
'Cause the end is coming soon
And we'll meet again someday
And we'll toss the cursed ruins
Of the bride I'll never be
And the groom.








This song was written by The Airborne Toxic Event for their third album Such Hot Blood. This is important to know because their first two albums are all sad songs none of which are about love which contrasts with this album in which they sing only songs about love, both falling in love and having your heart broken. This song is about a guy who is in love with a girl who also cares for him, but he wants more and she doesn't. The song contains multiple examples of simile for example when he compares the girl to snowflakes, rain, and drum beats using like in the beginning of the second verse. All three of the similes are used to describe the importance of the girl and how different she is from everyone else. This can be seen in the fact that snowflakes are never the same, and the beat of the drum being different and always changing because the person playing it is crazy.
There is also an excellent example of allusion when he sings about the rocks and her singing alluding to the sirens. In the story of Odysseus he listens to the siren song which is meant to lure in people to be killed. This story is usually used to indicate how the person tempted the other into something however the last line of this verse shows that he came to her not because of her song but because she was special to him and meant more to him than to the other people who had heard the song and been lured in.
The meaning of the parts of the wedding of which he sings in such allusions as the "toast... to the bride and groom" is that he was ready to marry her but he wasn't enough for her and so she was happy with him so she stayed for a while but she left after being with him for a little while longer.

Disagreeing Response

http://thisibelieve.org/essay/22043/
I don't feel particularly attached, or in agreement with, this essay. To me, it promotes slowing down and not attempting to push the limits. While I feel reflection is important, to me moving forward is the key to life. If we sit still, we stagnate and like sharks, we sink. I have never heard of this woman before nor am I familiar with any other works by her, but I feel like she is a little off track. Especially in sports preparing for the next season is important even in the "off season". Life is too short to spend time relearning because we took a break. I really regret not taking Spanish this year because I am very rusty now, instead of being able to converse easily as I could before. Life is meant to. E lived and slowing down is not to me living to the fullest.
 

Agreeing Response

http://thisibelieve.org/essay/144194/
I think this essay is both, extremely interesting as it strikes very close to home even mentioning CD Central somewhere I have spent hours before and also because I completely agree with him. Music has been a key feature of my life for as long as I can remember. Because my parents are divorced the constant driving back and forth has led me to become one with a lot of miles driving meaning lots of time with the radio on. Not only in those times have I experienced power through music but also when I am at my father's house we eat sleep and breathe music. There is at least one radio on at all times and probably three or four all playing diverse genres. If you don't like what you hear in one room go to the next, you'll be sure to find a new station and if you cant find a room you like go to a quiet one and turn on the radio. There is one in every room. Music is sacred. There are songs which we simply play because they mean something to us and in the same way the writer understands this. I have never read any of his writing before, but I hope to soon.

Einstein This I Believe

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4670423
This essay really surprised me. I didn't really expect a discussion of God by a famous scientist. I knew he struggled and discussed his faith often, but had never read such a candid conversation by him about the topic. I tend to agree with him as well, as I think he is probably right about the importance of justice and goodness. I am less sure about his belief that a god wouldn't care, but definitely understand where he is coming from. I'm not sure what to think now, but I definitely am going to read more about this idea now.  

That was Then, This is Now

At age 12, my favorite thing to do was read
My best friend was Joseph
My other friends included Rachel, Jeremy, and Harris
My favorite entertainer was Weird Al
My room looked small
I wanted to become a teacher
When I needed to talk to an adult I usually went to Mike
The thing I valued most was winning
As a student, I was too smart for my own good
If I got into trouble, I would lie
At age 18, my favorite thing to do was (redacted)
My best friend was Rachel
My other friends included Paula, Olivia, Sarah, and Anna
My favorite entertainer was The Airborne Toxic Event
My room looked big
I wanted to become a professor
When I needed to talk to an adult I usually went to my friends
The thing I valued most was happiness
As a student, I was too lazy for my own good
If I got into trouble, I would own up to it.